Old Muskogee County Stories

Newspaper reporters emphasized humor in their articles during Muskogee's early days. Here are a few humorous snippets I believe you will enjoy.

The Nye Show Company set up on an empty lot near the South Fourth Street residence of United States Marshal Leo Bennett. This was unfortunate for one escapee because he entered the marshal's residence during his flight. The show company's black bear was on the loose! (1906)

T. L. Pegram owned a dry goods store down town. He also owned a cat. Pegram's cat ate the chickens owned by E. R. Durfeys who lived nearby. Finally spotting the attacker, Durfeys shot Pegram's cat. The newspaper reported that the city marshal, the city water department, the city sewer inspector and the electric light company are all involved in the row. (1908)

Deputy US Marshal Pritchard was trying to prove a point in court one day. He thought five witnesses ought to be enough. He thereupon called five farmers to the witness stand. Each was asked to sample some illegal liquor as a test of the intoxicating properties of the contraband. That started the five witnesses on a bender which ultimately lead to the destruction of hotel furniture. Deputy Marshal Pritchard received the bill. (1906)

Muskogee was a prominent town in 1903. Its growth often attracted financiers from back east. Recent investors were very surprised by the young Muskogee men who claimed prominent titles. One easterner was put in the know when a "colonel" said his title only cost $5.

Robert Bowie lived in Webbers Falls. Like most men in their youth, he came to the court clerk's office in Muskogee to take out a marriage license. The sparkle in his eyes was Miss Minnie Nash. The next week the license was mailed back to the court clerk. Bowie wrote the following across the license, "She married another before I got there, therefore I can not use this." (1906)

Fishing in a puddle in the middle of North Main Street is typical of the way residents have called attention to problems needing work. Homer Baughman joined Campbell Russell in this pantheon of keen observers. Homer mailed the newspaper a collection of mature cockle burrs he found on a parking lot on West Broadway. (1909)

A circus manager went seeking an example of an "oldest inhabitant" in the Flint Hills east of Tahlequah. Upon finally locating the house, the old man refuses to join the circus. The oldster said that "he cannot leave his father who was at the moment putting his grandfather to bed upstairs." (1906)

Patrolman George Ledbetter rushed to the Creek Wagon Yard on reports of a death. Thinking that a murder had occurred, he asked the yard attendant upon arrival where the murderer was. "There ain't no murder. It's a dying horse and I jest wanted to know what to do with him." (1905)

Here is how another member of Muskogee's finest dealt with a real crime. Homer B. Spaulding, for whom the park downtown is named, was incensed one day when he called the police department. Patrolman Grant Huddleston was assigned the duty of finding the culprit that stole a pair of Spaulding's long john's formerly hanging on the family clothesline in the back yard. Officer Huddleston knew he was dealing with a complaint from one of Muskogee's most respected residents when he declared that he would find the culprit "if he had to undress every man in town!" (1908)