Are You Raising A Misogynist?

My brother-in-law is a professor and ob-gyn. As such, he has an insight into the female body and mind outside the scope of the normal male. He said something one day during an interesting conversation that you don't normally hear a man say, viz., that misogyny, or the continued mistreatment and hatred of women, is one of the biggest problems facing the world. This is a kind and logically thinking man who has been to Rawanda as a volunteer doctor, witnessing firsthand the kind of chaos the mistreatment of women can render. He also runs a clinic for indigent women, and has seen women in all states of abuse.

But still, coming from a man, his statement startled me. To paraphrase, he said that how we treat women, the mothers and caretakers of our most valued possessions (children), indicates how well the rest of society progresses. It is such a simple truth, but one that most of the world ignores. Even Plato observed back in the 300's B.C. that education for boys and girls should be equal, noting that after the treatment women normally recieved in those days, they became nothing but "skivvies", or slaves.

Fast forward over 2,000 years and one has to ask, why is this one battle still being fought? It could easily be eradicated through parenting and education. Which brings me to the question of how we raise our sons. Our children watch the dynamics of our relationships and determine how men should treat women. They decide to follow in the same footsteps or revise the dynamic in their own families, but either way, we are the first imprint they receive. The second one often comes from rappers who are notoriously misogynistic (think Snoop P-I-M-P) and from movies.

I don't want to moralize by listing a long series of the ways in which we imperceptibly transfer the idea that women are not equal in a family. The division of labor between a man and a woman may never be equal, but it can be VALUED equally. One of the primal laws is "honor thy father and mother", but somehow we never get around to the "and mother" part. If a man tells his son in one breath to "honor your mother, boy", but in the next instant lets her vacuum around his feet while he goes on watching his tv show, without even so much as a "thank-you", then a double message is sent.

How do we raise our sons, then? A common division of labor is for the boys to mow the lawn and the girls to do the dishes or cook. The only problem is that the lawn has to be mown only once a week at most, but the dishes and cooking are daily chores to be dealt with. Women tend to pamper their sons, but teaching our sons to cook, do the dishes and laundry are life skills everyone needs. Did you see the cartoon Zits this week? The son asks his mother to come tuck him in, which touches a chord of sentimentality, until she realizes he just wants her to throw away his pile of trash and retrieve his dirty dishes!

The USA is way ahead in curbing the tide of misogyny, but it remains a detrimental problem in much of the world. Simply valuing everyone's contributions, both men's and women's, can add much grace to the world. Just something to think about. (And, no, I'm not voting for Hillary for President...)

Here is a recipe for a Ranchero Dagwood you can teach your son to make:
1 loaf Frech bread
6 slices Provolone
1 lb. ground beef
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 small onion chopped
1 jar spaghetti sauce
1 small can sliced black olives
Split bread in half and scoop out each side to form a shell. Brown ground beef with garlic and onion. Drain. Add tomato sauce and simmer. Bake bread halves in oven at 350 degrees until hot and crusty, 12 - 15 minutes. Lay provolone slices across each half - they should melt slightly. Fill each half with the ground beef mixture and top with the sliced olives. Can place in the oven again, if desired, for additional heating.