God Bless Them Everyone

Joe White is the author of many youth related books. One particularly good one is The Gift of Self Esteem. He is the president of Kanakuk and Kanakomo Kamps which host 14,000 campers each summer and is a noted speaker on family and teen issues. In his book What Kids Wish Parents Knew About Parenting, Joe quotes some interesting statistics. As a preface to the stats he writes, " I believe children have an innate, genetically programmed desire to be primarily molded by their parents or primary care givers." In other words, molded by those at home.

He first cites the doom and gloom statistics from Readers Digest, Seventeen and USA Today. We have all seen them. Five million teen alcoholics, teen pregnancy, drugs, suicide....but then Mr. White counters with statistics of his own. These statistics come from 1000 Kanakuk and Kanakomo campers. These kids historically come from strong and loving family backgrounds.

# Ninety-five percent of the boys indicated their Fathers regularly tell them "I love you."
# Ninety-eight percent of the girls say their Mothers tell them "I'm proud of you."
# Ninety-one percent of the kids say their parents play games and sports with them.
# Ninety-seven percent of the boys get hugs from their Dads.
# One-hundred percent of the girls say they get hugs from their Moms or Dads.
# 100 percent of the girls and eight-five percent of the boys remember being read to.
# Eighty-seven percent of the camp kids (up to 18 years old!) are virgins.
# Seventy two percent of the kids do not drink.

The author's survey continues but his point is clear. When given an adult who really loves them and gives them a constant example of good behavior, most teenagers really want to do the right thing. We are doing a great job of parenting when we can accept problems as challenges and meet the challenges head on with determination, self-sacrifice and enthusiasm. Joe White says that is being the hero kids need. When faced with the dangerous environment out there, these validated kids have the strength and confidence to stand committed to the right principals they are taught and shown.

I guess these old, tired homilies have stayed around because they are so true. "Home is where the Heart is", "Home is Where your Story Begins", Home Sweet Home", "Keep the Home Fires Burning", and of course, "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home".

So as the last, mad dash of Christmas is upon us, remember. As there are presents to be wrapped and pies to be made, remember. As end of year business demands pile up, remember. On that last frantic run to the discount store, to the mall or to the grocery, remember.

As we finally sit together around the Christmas table, I'm going to stop a minute. Take a deep breath and look from one face to another. This time I won't get too busy with all the "stuff" to tell my family, "I love you." Some of the pack may blush and grimace, but he or she will remember, "I love you." And then, where will those I love more than anything in the world always want to be at Christmas? Just like the song says;

Christmas Eve will find me,

Where the love light beams.

I'll be home for Christmas.

If only in my dreams.

As we sit around our table Christmas Eve, this calorie laden but delicious side dish is a Wagner must have. My own personal children would mutiny if it were not on the menu. Enjoy!

Garlic Cheese Grits

2 cups water

2 cups milk

2 tsp salt

1 cup instant grits

1 3 oz package Velveeta

1 cup extra sharp grated cheddar cheese

1 stick butter

1 tsp Worcestershire

3 eggs, slightly beaten

1 tsp (or more) minced garlic

dash cayenne

Bring salt,water and milk to a boil and slowly stir in grits. Cover and simmer for 3 minutes or until thickened. Remove from heat and temper beaten eggs with a small amount of the grits (so they will not curdle and cook) and add to grit mixture. Add Velveeta, butter, grated cheese and other seasonings. Pour into a buttered 9 x11 Pyrex dish and sprinkle with paprika. You may refrigerate for up to 24 hours. Heat in a 350 degree oven, uncovered for thirty minutes or until set and bubbly around the edges.