Read along for some
praise, advice, commiseration, and recipes for feeding both the stomachs and the minds of those not-quite-fully-developed young adults we call teens.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Gainful Employment
Jobs for teens have been pretty hard to find this summer. Usual opportunities have been snatched up by adults who have found themselves glad for any kind of employment. Other businesses have just decided to make do and not hire part time for the summer. My daughter works for the Girl Scouts and lamented two sessions of Scout Camp were not filled. Parents are just not spending money on luxuries. This meant counselors were without their expected salaries for the summer.
Don't let summer go to waste. There are definitely constructive things that can be accomplished, even if a job has not materialized. If summer school was looking unattractive previously, it might be the best choice now. Getting ahead on credits, or expanding transcript-building attributes can be a big plus, and might be a most productive way for your teenager to spend time the rest of the summer.
Also, assess what you might be able to offer your teen. Does your house need work? Maybe doing some painting, gardening or organizing would be mutually beneficial. You could offer some kind of payment, barter or other mutually beneficial arrangement. How about neighbors and relative....might they have similar needs that your teen can meet? There are many stories of energetic teens developing highly successful businesses mowing lawns or cleaning garages.
In a recent Wall St. Journal article entitled "Cupcakes and Cattle Breeding: Teens turn to Summer Start-Ups"they report that finding a niche is a key to success. An Austin Texas 17 year old is designing and creating hand-made barrettes and selling them successfully to local boutiques. They offer other examples of teens creating web pages and selling unique baked goods, art work or dog-sitting services. Creativity may be the key to your teen's success this summer.
There is still plenty of time for your child to make this summer a productive one. Reading Lists, math tutoring, volunteering, learning to do something new and different......don't let your teen spend July and August in front of the TV just because they did not get a job. Direction and focus do not take the summer vacation off, they just redirect themselves! chrissie
If you grew up in the 60's, 70's, or even the 80's, everything you know about school runs counterintuitive to the reality of secondary education today. While for the most part teenagers don't change, even over millennia, the social millieu in which any generation lives determines much of what goes on in schools.
That, according to Mark Bauerlein, professor of English at Emory Univserity, is exactly what is wrong with students today. The social millieu in which they live has been taken over by constant text messaging and social networking to the exclusion of deep meaning in other areas of students' lives.
Bauerlein contends that even though Advanced Placement course enrollment is up and college enrollment is rising, actual student knowledge is stagnant at best, but most probably in decline. Anyone who has tried to take that graduation test from the turn of the century that floated around the Internet might suspect this is true. One might also believe him, based on his experience as a professor who has seen classes of the best and brightest come and go, and so has a yardstick by which to measure.
Bauerlein is not the first professor to question what has happened to American education. In 1963 Richard Hofstadter penned a book called Anti-Intellectualism in American Life. In 1987 Alan Bloom wrote The Closing of the American Mind. He was followed by E.D. Hirsch who claimed that we were losing our cultural literacy and so wrote several books on what every school child should know. This year Professor Bauerlein published the most scathing expose of our youth yet, entitled The Dumbest Generation. Evidently Americans can get even dumber than they were in 1963.
I can also cite one of my favorite professors at OU, J. Fears, who obtained a National Endowment for the Humanities grant to bring American history teachers up to par. Evidently freshmen in the required American history courses knew little about our country, even though they have civics in middle school and American history and government (and possibly AP Government) in high school. Dr. Fears surmised it was the teachers who were not prepared. What he discovered after several years of teaching the NEH History of Liberty Summer Institute course was that the teachers knew their history, loved it and taught it with passion to the best of their ability. Somewhere, somehow, though, the transfer of knowledge did not make it from teacher to student.
We all know that every generation thinks the succeeding generation is not quite up to snuff. I suspect that what is at play here is that yes, for whatever reason - rap music, the self-esteem movement, desegregation, free love, or helicopter parents - students are not as well educated as in the past. But another factor is that in all our affluence and technology, we expect better kids and can't understand why they aren't smarter given all the money spent on education, feel good programs, and, of course, technology. It could be the answer has more to do with human nature than with our belabored schools and shallow teenagers.
Have you recently had a situation with your own teen that you weren't sure how to handle? It's a rare parent who has all the answers. Heck. I’d worry if I did have all the answers. Parents face many situations where the answer isn't cut and dried. How do you know if you should say yes or no to your young teen's request to go to the movie with friends? Or in a car with a young driver? Or to a party or to a with people you don’t know?
On Sue Blaney's "Stop the Rollercoaster" website, she offers a tool to help. She advises, "What do I need to teach, say or learn?"
Using our three examples from above: 1. You are trying to decide if your young teen will receive your permission to go to the movie at the mall with friends. Ask yourself: "What do I need to teach?" Have you taught her what to do in an emergency? How to find help at the mall? What to do if somebody does or says something that makes her feel uncomfortable or unsafe? Review with her the skills she may need; be sure you have updated them and they are age appropriate for situations that change as she grows.
2. Are you going to allow your son to go out in a car with a teen driver? Here you might ask yourself: "What do I need to say?" Go ahead… Even if you’ve stated your rules before, you can say them again...you want your voice in his precious little head! Under what circumstances is he allowed in cars with friends? If this hasn't been stated, this is an important topic to discuss. State the consequences if he breaks this rules. (As an aside, this is a rule that is too often broken and sometimes with devastating consequences, so be clear on your rules about riding in cars.)
3. Will you allow her to go to a party with people you don't know? In this case you might ask yourself: "What do I need to learn? " You need to be in information-gathering mode to offer the right answer in this situation. Do you have all the facts? Where will the party be? Will there be supervision? How many people are expected to attend? How late will it go? How is she getting home? If your teen doesn't have answers that satisfy you don't be shy to make some calls yourself...which may be a smarter way to go anyway. Identify the information you need to ensure her safety and don't let her go until you've learned what you need to know.
"What do I need to teach, say or learn?" can guide a parent through many situations. It seems a simple and helpful tool to eliminate a few of those gray areas we all seem to encounter with out kids. chrissie
Most teens need about 8 1/2 to more than 9 hours of sleep each night. The right amount of sleep is essential for anyone who wants to do well on a test or play sports without tripping over their feet. Unfortunately, though, many teens don't get enough sleep.
Why Aren't Teens Getting Enough Sleep?
Until recently, teens were often given a bad rap for staying up late, oversleeping for school, and falling asleep in class. But recent studies show that adolescent sleep patterns actually differ from those of adults or kids.
These studies show that during the teen years, the body's circadian rhythm (sort of like an internal biological clock) is temporarily reset, telling a person to fall asleep later and wake up later. This change in the circadian rhythm seems to be due to the fact that the brain hormone melatonin. Here is the interesting part. is produced later at night for teens than it is for kids and adults. This can make it harder for teens to fall asleep early.
These changes in the body's circadian rhythm coincide with a time when we're busier than ever. For most teens, the pressure to do well in school is more intense than when they were kids, and it's harder to get by without studying hard. And teens also have other time demands -everything from sports and other extracurricular activities to fitting in a part-time job to save money for college.
Early start times in some schools may also play a role in this sleep deficit. Teens who fall asleep after midnight may still have to get up early for school, meaning that they may only squeeze in 6 or 7 hours of sleep a night. A couple hours of missed sleep a night may not seem like a big deal, but can create a noticeable sleep deficit over time.
How Do You Know if Your Teen is Getting Enough Sleep ?
Why Is Sleep Important?
This sleep deficit impacts everything from a person's ability to pay attention in class to his or her mood. According to the National Sleep Foundation’s 2006 Sleep in America poll, more than one quarter of high school students fall asleep in class, and experts have been able to tie lost sleep to poorer grades. Lack of sleep also damages teens' ability to do their best in athletics.
Slowed responses and concentration from lack of sleep don't just affect school or sports performance, though. More than half of teens surveyed reported that they have driven a car drowsy over the past year and 15% of students in the 10th to 12th grades drive drowsy at least once a week. The National Highway Safety Traffic Administration estimates that more than 100,000 accidents, 40,000 injuries, and 1,500 people are killed in the U.S. every year in crashes caused by drivers who are simply tired. Young people under the age of 25 are far more likely to be involved in drowsy driving crashes.
Lack of sleep has also been linked to emotional troubles, such as feelings of sadness and depression. Sleep helps keep us physically healthy, too, by slowing our body's systems enough to re-energize us after everyday activities.
How Do I Know if I'm Getting Enough?
Even if you think you're getting enough sleep, you may not be. Here are some of the signs that you may need more sleep:
Recently, some researchers, parents, and teachers have suggested that middle- and high-school classes begin later in the morning to accommodate teens' need for more sleep. Some schools have already implemented later start times. You and your friends, parents, and teachers can lobby for later start times at your school, but in the meantime you'll have to make your own adjustments.
Here are some things that may help you to sleep better:
Set a regular bedtime. Going to bed at the same time each night signals to your body that it's time to sleep. Waking up at the same time every day can also help establish sleep patterns. So try to stick as closely as you can to your sleep schedule even on weekends. Don't go to sleep more than an hour later or wake up more than 2 to 3 hours later than you do during the week.
Exercise regularly. Try not to exercise right before bed, though, as it can rev you up and make it harder to fall asleep. Finish exercising at least three hours before bedtime. Many sleep experts believe that exercising in late afternoon may actually help a person sleep.
Avoid stimulants. Don't drink beverages with caffeine, such as soda and coffee, after 4 PM. Nicotine is also a stimulant, so quitting smoking may help you sleep better. And drinking alcohol in the evening can also cause a person to be restless and wake up during the night.
Relax your mind. Avoid violent, scary, or action movies or television shows right before bed — anything that might set your mind and heart racing. Reading books with involved or active plots may also keep you from falling or staying asleep.
Unwind by keeping the lights low. Light signals the brain that it's time to wake up. Staying away from bright lights (including computer screens!), as well as meditating or listening to soothing music, can help your body relax. Try to avoid TV, computer and telephone at least one hour before you go to bed.
Don't nap too much. Naps of more than 30 minutes during the day may keep you from falling asleep later.
Avoid all-nighters. Don't wait until the night before a big test to study. Cutting back on sleep the night before a test may mean you perform worse than you would if you'd studied less but got more sleep.
Create the right sleeping environment. Studies show that people sleep best in a dark room that is slightly on the cool side. Close your blinds or curtains (and make sure they're heavy enough to block out light) and turn down the thermostat in your room (pile on extra blankets or wear PJs if you're cold). Lots of noise can be a sleep turnoff, too.
Wake up with bright light. Bright light in the morning signals to your body that it's time to get going.
If you're drowsy, it's hard to look and feel your best. Schedule "sleep" as an item on your agenda to help you stay creative and healthy.
Even if they think they're getting enough sleep, they may not be. Here are some of the signs that your teen may need more sleep.
1. difficulty waking up in the morning (Is this easy with any teen?)
2. inability to concentrate
3. falling asleep during classes
4. feelings of moodiness and even depression
Here are some tips from the experts to help your teen develop better sleep habits.
Set a regular bedtime
Avoid stimulants. (Nix the Red Bull or Mountain Dew)
Relax your mind.
Unwind by keeping the lights low.
Don't nap too much.
Avoid all-nighters.
Create the right sleeping environment.
Wake up with bright light.
Remind you teenm "If you're drowsy, it's hard to look and feel your best. Schedule sleep as an item on your agenda to help you stay creative, active and healthy." chrissie
How Can I Get More Sleep?
Recently, some researchers, parents, and teachers have suggested that middle- and high-school classes begin later in the morning to accommodate teens' need for more sleep. Some schools have already implemented later start times. You and your friends, parents, and teachers can lobby for later start times at your school, but in the meantime you'll have to make your own adjustments.
Here are some things that may help you to sleep better:
Set a regular bedtime. Going to bed at the same time each night signals to your body that it's time to sleep. Waking up at the same time every day can also help establish sleep patterns. So try to stick as closely as you can to your sleep schedule even on weekends. Don't go to sleep more than an hour later or wake up more than 2 to 3 hours later than you do during the week.
Exercise regularly. Try not to exercise right before bed, though, as it can rev you up and make it harder to fall asleep. Finish exercising at least three hours before bedtime. Many sleep experts believe that exercising in late afternoon may actually help a person sleep.
Avoid stimulants. Don't drink beverages with caffeine, such as soda and coffee, after 4 PM. Nicotine is also a stimulant, so quitting smoking may help you sleep better. And drinking alcohol in the evening can also cause a person to be restless and wake up during the night.
Relax your mind. Avoid violent, scary, or action movies or television shows right before bed — anything that might set your mind and heart racing. Reading books with involved or active plots may also keep you from falling or staying asleep.
Unwind by keeping the lights low. Light signals the brain that it's time to wake up. Staying away from bright lights (including computer screens!), as well as meditating or listening to soothing music, can help your body relax. Try to avoid TV, computer and telephone at least one hour before you go to bed.
Don't nap too much. Naps of more than 30 minutes during the day may keep you from falling asleep later.
Avoid all-nighters. Don't wait until the night before a big test to study. Cutting back on sleep the night before a test may mean you perform worse than you would if you'd studied less but got more sleep.
Create the right sleeping environment. Studies show that people sleep best in a dark room that is slightly on the cool side. Close your blinds or curtains (and make sure they're heavy enough to block out light) and turn down the thermostat in your room (pile on extra blankets or wear PJs if you're cold). Lots of noise can be a sleep turnoff, too.
Wake up with bright light. Bright light in the morning signals to your body that it's time to get going.
If you're drowsy, it's hard to look and feel your best. Schedule "sleep" as an item on your agenda to help you stay creative and healthy.
Thought this was great as we approach Father's Day. if you share it with your children, don't forget to add you walked 2 miles to school, in the snow, without a coat........
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?
Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. Here's a great salad for June Watermelons.
>Slice melon in small chunks-seed (About 3 cups chunks) Julienne enough basil to have about 1/8 cup Basil leaves (can substitute with mint) Toss together with 1 pkg regular Feta Cheese Drizzle all with a good Balsamic vinegar Chill and serve cold.
It does sound kind of unusual but it is delicious!!! Enjoy. chrissie
No matter how old our children get, one thing we will always do is feed them. Food is a central focus of family gatherings and even teenagers appreciate a good meal.
Recently Reuter's carried a story about Swedish research showing that boys aged 15 who ate fish regularly gained marked improvement in cognitive skills. (Follow this link for the full story http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSTRE52F4XH20090316 ) Anyone who has ever had a 15-year-old male living in their house knows this is a great discovery. The fatty fishes, such as salmon, have the most beneficial effect. The good news is that it is good for all of us.
So, instead of grabbing a carry-out hamburger or pizza, why not try some salmon instead. Getting the kids to eat it should be easy enough, as it is very palatable, especially with great seasonings. Here are a few recipes to try out on the males in your family from 15 to 50:
Salmon Pate 1 small onion, quartered 1 15 1/2 oz. can salmon, drained with skin and boned removed 1 8 oz. package fat free cream cheese, room temperature 2 or 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 1 heaping tablespoon horseradish 2 teaspoons dried dill 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1 teaspoon liquid smoke dash of Tobasco salt and pepper Pulse onion in food processor. Add all the other ingredients and pulse until smooth. Serve with wheat crackers.
Italian Pasta Salmon Salad 1/3 cup olive oil 3 tablespoons white wine vinegar 1 clove garlic, minced 1/2 teaspoon basil, crushed 1/4 teaspoon dry mustard Dash of pepper 1 cup cooked small shell macaroni 4 radishes, sliced (leave out if your kids hate radishes) 1/2 green pepper cut into 1/2 inch squares 2 green onions, thinly sliced 1/4 cup shredded carrot 1 can 6 1/2 oz. pink salmon, drained 8 cherry tomatoes, halved In a small bowl combine oil, vinegar, garlic, basil, mustard, and pepper. Cover and refrigerate one hour. In a large bowl toss macaroni, radishes, green pepper, green onions, and carrot. Just before serving pour dressing over pasta and vegetables; toss. Add salmon and cherry tomatoes and toss gently.
Grilled Salmon 4 salmon fillets 1/4 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup margarine 2 tablespoons soy sauce 2 tablespoons sherry Make a marinade with the brown sugar, margarine, soy sauce and sherry. Pour over fillets and chill for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, prepare coals to medium heat. Spray grill with non-stick cooking spray. Grill salmon for 4 to 5 minutes. Turn and pour remaining marinade over fish; continue grilling another 3 to 5 minutes until slamon flakes and is light pink in color, or until desired consistency and cooked through.
If all else fails, try the salmon burgers from Whole Foods on whole wheat buns. They're great!
What do you share with your kids? Hobbies, like fishing or Nascar? Sports, like baseball, soccer or golf? Are you both passionate about a college team, classic films or dirt biking? Whatever you share with your children now will be something that always connects you. It will be something that reminds them of family and growing up. These shared experiences will result in those warm fuzzies and reassurances we all need at different times in our lives.
I rocked my babies to show tunes, college songs and James Taylor. Sweet Baby James, Fire and Rain, Shower the People, You've Got A Friend-could there be anything better than J.T.? His music evokes that time in my life when all things were possible and the world was at my feet. I love my husband, Warren, but James had my heart first.
Both my girls learned to love James by osmosis. We call each other when he is on television. We turn the radio up when he is singing. We alert each other with his newest album. All three of us know every word to every song James has ever written.
I surprised the girls with tickets to see Sweet Baby James last weekend in Dallas. Neither had seen him in concert before. (Make this my fourth time). We made it a girl trip and had a ball. We shopped, we ate, we drank a little wine, but what we really did was share something that was special in our lives together. The music that evokes happy times and shared passions.
Our special might not be your special, but seize any opportunity to continue what you did together- what you still do together. Don't let moments that can create memories and life moments get away. Those moments are precious. Cultivate and create them for you and those you love.
(Our family is going to a dear friend's wedding in the fall. It happens to be in Nantucket. The ferry goes across to Martha's Vineyard, home of James Taylor. If you see I have been arrested in September as a stalker, know I just knew my invitation for a visit had probably been lost in the the mail.) chrissie
Melony Carey has bachelors and masters degrees in Latin and Classics from the University of Oklahoma; she's been married for nearly thirty years to Kevin and they have two college-aged children, Madison and John; She teaches at Muskogee High School, where over 6,000 exceptional people have passed through her classroom doors during the last 33 years.
Chrissie has been married to her transplanted Texan, Warren for 33 years and they have 4 children, 1 son-in law and two grandchildren.
Chrissie graduated from the University of Oklahoma with a degree in English and a minor in Theater. She worked part-time as a caterer and event coordinator while her children were small and taught at Muskogee High School for ten years. Other than family and friends, involvement in community theater, The Oklahoma Arts Institute, Muskogee Area Arts Council, Bells at St Paul UMC, and Muskogee Garden Study Club are all activities she enjoys.
